


I See The Light

by breeisonfire



Series: Shutter 'verse [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Pack Feels, Sad Derek, Snapchat, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 11:22:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breeisonfire/pseuds/breeisonfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the anniversary of the fire, and Derek doesn't like being alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I See The Light

**Author's Note:**

> Three stories, three days in a row. Holy crap. So much inspiration.
> 
> The Sterek element is moving slower than I was expecting, but I can't bring myself to change it. Also, I keep making references in the titles, and they watch a lot of movies. I don't know why.
> 
> Still unbeta'd. That's mostly my own fault. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!

It’s the date that does him in.

The weeks since Derek came back to Beacon Hills had been good, he thinks. It’s been pretty calm supernatural wise, and he’s slowly starting to relax. There hasn’t been a strange death since before he got back, there’s been no signs of anything coming to kill them (knock on wood, as Stiles would say), and even at the station, everything is generally relaxed. He’s starting to get to know the other workers at the station, and he’s found that he genuinely likes them. Cora’s been safe, and makes sure he knows by repeatedly sending him pictures of her doing random things, like making her bed, or typing.

The pack is getting along, better than Derek had ever hoped. He likes movie nights, likes the joking that goes on, and that the tension has slowly been dissipating. He likes that Lydia likes superhero movies, Isaac likes sci fi, Allison’s a fan of dystopian, Scott likes explosions, and Stiles has seen more movies than anyone Derek has ever met before. He likes that they each get a turn to pick a movie, and that when his turn comes and he picks _Independence Day_ (he’s a fan of aliens, sue him), Scott cheers, Isaac grins, and Stiles sends him a Snapchat with himself beaming at the camera with the text, “Nice taste, sourwolf.” He likes that everyone can tell when he’s in the mood to talk and so will engage him, and can also tell when he doesn’t want to talk.

He likes that he’s somehow been integrated into the pack so much that when he accidentally sends everyone a picture of himself holding a kitten that he’d saved from a tree on Snapchat, the responses weren’t mocking in any way (Stiles had sent a video of himself yelling, “Kitty!”, Scott had sent a picture of himself and asked if the kitten was okay, Isaac had just sent a text saying, “Nice!”, and Lydia had sent a picture of her and Allison giving him a thumbs-up). He likes that they all take turns buying the food for the movie night, and that though sometimes someone will be picky, they usually don’t complain when they’re eating. He likes that he’s now invited to lacrosse games (which he of course starts going to, and he learns that despite what Peter had always said, he actually likes lacrosse).

He also likes that he doesn’t feel lonely anymore. Derek doesn’t know if Scott put Stiles up to it or if he’s doing it of his own free will, but he never lets Derek brood anymore. He gets pictures and random texts from him at all times of day, usually with some kind of joke. When he accidentally lets it out that he’d been pretty good at English and history in school, he starts getting texts about those (one particular conversation about 1984 had lasted two days and only stopped when Stiles lost his phone in class). He thinks he’s talked to Stiles almost more than he’s talked to Cora, and that is an impressive accomplishment given the amount of messages he gets from Cora.

With all of this, he starts thinking maybe he really will be okay. Like he’s finally found his place, even after all the years of wandering around like he was lost.

And then he notices the date.

The anniversary of the fire.

He’s not sure how it snuck up on him. He thinks he’s known it was coming, but was resolutely ignoring it. He’s been keeping himself distracted. He thinks he shouldn’t have, because it’s so much worse when it all comes crashing down at once.

He has the day off. He hadn’t requested it off, but he knows the fire chief, who was the same one summoned that day, knows the date. He probably thought Derek would want the day off to grieve. Which is thoughtful.

Except he doesn’t. Derek doesn’t want to be home, in his apartment, reminded that he’s alone now. He doesn’t want to be in the quiet loft, where so many things had gone wrong. He doesn’t want to think about it.

So he goes out into the woods, and he runs, and he runs. He runs for hours, trying to get away from the feeling of being alone. He tries to lose himself in the wolf. He’d used to be really good at that, forgetting he was human. Back when he’d had only Laura as company.

But now, he had a pack. And his wolf was howling for the pack. Derek doesn’t want to bother them, he doesn’t want to make them come running for his own fucked-up brain. He’s pretty sure they will, even Allison, because they’ve learned that they all have their issues and the pack is a good comfort tool. But they’re in school, and they have their own lives, and Derek, no matter how lonely he’s feeling, doesn’t want to get in the way of that. He’s done enough damage.

So he runs some more, and carefully stays as far away from the old house or any place that holds any memories as he can. He ends up in woods he doesn’t know as well, and spends his time getting to know it. He comes to a small stream and sits down on its banks, trying his hardest not to think about it.

It’s a bit chilly, and as he pulls his leather jackets closer, he hears his phone go off, and he pulls it out. He’s got a text from Stiles, and despite what he’d been thinking earlier, he opens it.

_Everything okay?_

He should have known the others would feel his distress through the pack bond. He doesn’t know how to respond. He doesn’t know if anyone knows what today is, although he wouldn’t put it past Stiles or Lydia to know.

He’s thinking about how to respond when there’s a noise to his left, and he jumps to his feet, straight into a fighting stance, before he sees what made the noise.

It’s a deer. A doe, to be exact, and she’s looking at Derek with disinterest. Derek relaxes and looks at the doe. He doesn’t move, amazed that she’s not frightened of him.

It takes a few minutes for the doe to walk away, and when she does, Derek sits back down. He glances at the time, trying to figure out what to do now. It’s near one, and he hears his stomach growl.

He gets up and goes back to town, determined to not let his emotions show. He passes Sheriff Stilinski in his cruiser, and the man nods at him as he passes. Derek nods back. He’d had several run ins with him now, and they’ve come to an understanding now. It’s a relief to have the sheriff on his side.

He’s not paying attention when he walks into the deli (Stiles had recommended it; Derek has yet to admit to him that it’s now his favorite), so he doesn’t realize who is in front of him in line for a few seconds. Then he recognizes the scent, and turns his head.

It’s Chris Argent, and the man is staring at Derek, not bothering to hide his surprise. Derek doesn’t know if he knows what day it is, but he does not want to talk to Chris, so he pretends he’s trying to choose what sandwich to get.

It seems for a while that Chris is going to let it go, but after Derek gets his sandwich and drink and goes to find a seat (he’s become a regular and likes to listen to the banter the employees get into), Chris moves in his way.

There’s a look in his eye that immediately tells Derek that he knows what day it is, and Derek tries to dodge around Chris, not at all wanting to talk about it. Chris, however, moves in his way again, and Derek resists the urge to punch him.

“Derek,” there’s guilt in Chris’ voice, and Derek has to fight back a growl, because he just wanted a _fucking sandwich_ , he didn’t need to talk about this, he didn’t need Chris’ pity, or guilt, or anything. Chris hesitates, but before he can say anything else, another voice chimes in.

“Is there a problem?”

It’s Sheriff Stilinski, and Derek wants to hug the man for the way he’s staring Chris down. He seizes Chris’ distraction and dodges around him and out the door, running as soon as he gets down the block.

He doesn’t stop running until he reaches a relatively secluded spot in a park. He settles down at a picnic bench and eats his sandwich, and ignores his phone every time it goes off. He sits at the park, watching nature go on around him for hours until he hears a crack of thunder and looks up right as the rain starts pouring. It breaks the calm he’d finally managed to find, and he’s assaulted by all of his emotions again.

He doesn’t know what to do now, and takes out his phone as it vibrates yet again. He’s got five missed messages from Stiles and two from Scott. He opens Scott’s first, since the one he’d just received had been from him.

_**Are you okay? You feel upset.** _

_**Stiles just told me what day it is. Call if you need anything.** _

Derek blinks furiously, telling himself the water in his eyes is only rain. Because he’s just being hit again by the fact that he’s not alone. He’s got a pack, one that cares, even if sometimes they get into stupid arguments, and despite all of their history.

He goes to Stiles’ texts, unsure what he’s going to find.

_I know what day it is. Please be careful._

_Dad just told me what happened. You okay?_

_Derek? Don’t do anything stupid._

_Dude, don’t shut us out, okay?_

_Can you at least let one of us know you’re okay?_

Derek lets out a breath and starts to type a text. He should have known they would get worried, and he feels bad for worrying them.

**I’ll be okay.**

He sends it to both Stiles and Scott. Seconds later, he gets a response from Stiles.

_Thank God. Don’t do that._

Scott’s response is a little slower and shorter.

_**Okay.** _

Derek stands up, intent on getting out of the rain, until it hits him that he really doesn’t want to go back to his apartment, and he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. He’s starting to panic, feeling all of his emotions crash in on him when he suddenly remembers an offer, extended to him a few weeks ago.

_“You know, if you need a place to come to, you can come to my place. Okay?”_

He’s moving before he even registers what he’s doing.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stiles is trying his hardest to concentrate on his homework, he really is. But the clock in the corner of his screen shows the date, too, and every time he sees the date, he’s hit with the realization he’d had early this morning all over again.

Oddly enough, he does remember the day. He’d been ten and picked up from school by Scott’s mom, who had explained to him that his dad had been called in for an emergency. He remembers his dad coming to pick him up smelling like smoke, and he remembers the hug he’d got from his dad when they’d got home. He’d asked his dad what was wrong, and his dad had just give him a sad look. He hadn’t learned what had actually happened until a few days later, by which time his curiosity had worn off, too distracted by his crush on Lydia and some sort of comic book that had come out. He hadn’t really been interested in the story, since it hadn’t affected him directly, and so brushed it off.

Now he knows better. Because Derek is a friend, he’s pack, and Stiles knows Derek’s usual coping method is silence. He’s relieved that Derek had responded finally. He’d been angry when his dad had told him about what Chris had done, and if Lydia hadn’t stopped him, he probably would have gotten himself into serious trouble. He’d had to remind the rest of the pack the day, but when he did, Allison had promised him that she’d tell her dad exactly how the pack felt about him approaching Derek, on this day of all days. Stiles has no doubt that she will deliver the message. Allison and Derek still have a bumpy relationship (for good reason), but the pack bond transcends that.

He’s given up on his homework and trying to decide whether texting Derek to distract him would be inappropriate when he hears a knock on his window. He turns toward it and sees Derek, standing out on the roof, in the pouring rain, and Stiles can’t help the relief that runs through him.

He hurries to the window and opens it for Derek, who stumbles in, completely soaked, and stops just inside the window, dripping on the carpet.

“Jesus, Derek,” Stiles says, unable to help himself. “Have you been out in the rain the entire time?”

Derek takes a moment to answer before just shrugging. Stiles can tell this is going to be a day where Derek absolutely does not want to talk. He can respect that, and goes and gets a towel for him before stealing a pair of pajama pants from his dad’s room and a shirt that they’d acquired somewhere that Stiles is almost positive will fit Derek. He brings them back to his room, where Derek is still standing in the same place, studying the carpet as if determined to memorize it.

“Here,” Stiles says, handing him the towel. Derek takes it and looks at it for a second before using it to dry his face. Stiles wonders what Derek’s been doing, because he doesn’t seem to be all there. He hopes it’s grief, and not something else. He hands the clothes to him, too, and turns Derek towards his bathroom. Derek goes, and a few moments later comes back out, changed. The shirt does fit him pretty well. His hair is still damp, and part of it is sticking up, but Derek doesn’t seem to care much.

Stiles takes his wet clothes downstairs and puts them in the dryer before coming back up. Derek is still standing in the middle of the room, looking lost, and Stiles looks around before focusing on the TV he’d gotten recently.

“Want to watch a movie?” he asks, and Derek looks at him before nodding slightly. Stiles goes over to his DVDs, determined to find a good movie. He skips over all of his horror movies, and then most of his sci fi movies. He remembers Derek liked _Independence Day_ , but Stiles isn’t sure that’s a good choice right now. He tries to stay away from everything with fire, and in the end, he gets annoyed with his movie choices and picks up _Tangled_.

He turns to Derek, who is now sitting down on his bed, and shows it to him. Derek looks at it, and then up at Stiles, raising his eyebrow as if to ask, “Really?”

Stiles gives him a goofy grin, glad Derek’s showing some signs of life, and nods. “I love this movie.”

Derek doesn’t say anything as Stiles puts the movie in and hits play. He sits down on the bed next to Derek as the movie starts up, and the opening monologue starts.

Stiles can’t help it as the songs begin, and he sings along, earning several strange looks from Derek. By the end of “Mother Knows Best” Derek is relaxing slightly and his lost look is gone. Stiles takes this as good news and starts to quote the dialogue. During “I’ve Got A Dream” Stiles does all the voices, and when he tries to harmonize with himself and ends up missing the notes completely, Derek covers his mouth, and Stiles sees he’s got a small smile on his face. Stiles hums along with the rest of the song, taking a picture and sending it to Cora. He knows she’s got to be hurting, too.

Stiles gets into the movie as he always does, and at the end of it, he’s grinning, and he turns to see Derek’s reaction to it to see Derek has fallen asleep. He’s stretched out on Stiles’ bed, breathing deeply. Stiles takes a moment to marvel that Derek feels safe enough around him to fall asleep before getting up carefully and going over to his computer. His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he pulls it out, seeing he has a text from Scott.

_**Heard from Derek recently? He’s not responding again.** _

Stiles takes a picture with Snapchat and sends it to Scott with the text, “That’s because he’s currently crashed on my bed.”

_**Good. At least he’s not alone.** _

Stiles has to agree with that sentiment. He glances at the clock and sees it’s almost time for him to make dinner. He looks at Derek, who appears to be deeply asleep, and thinks about how much it would suck for Derek to wake up alone. He pulls out a piece of notebook paper, and writes a note: “Have to make dinner for my dad. You’re welcome to stay.”

After leaving that on the bed next to Derek, he heads downstairs and starts cooking. He’s making a stew, making sure there’s enough for three, when his dad opens the front door. Stiles waits to hear if there’s any movement from his room, but his human ears don’t hear anything squeaking like his floor usually does. He wonders how much Derek’s been sleeping.

“Hey, kid,” his dad says as he walks into the kitchen.

“Hey, Dad,” Stiles says, not looking up from where he’s cutting up the vegetables. His dad stands there like there’s something he wants to ask about. Stiles has a feeling that he knows what it’s about and waits until he’s done chopping the carrots to turn to him.

His dad doesn’t waste any time. “I’m assuming you’ve heard from Derek?”

Stiles nods.

“God, kid,” his dad runs his hand through his hair. Stiles had inherited that nervous habit from him. “Is he okay? He looked wrecked.”

Stiles bites his lip. Apparently his dad doesn’t remember the date, so Stiles points at the calendar. His dad’s eyes go to it, and it takes exactly two seconds for his dad to realize.

“Oh,” he says. “No wonder. Where is he? Is he on his own?”

“Actually,” Stiles wonders how his dad is going to react to this. “He’s upstairs. He came over earlier, we watched _Tangled_ , and then he fell asleep. He’s still asleep, as far as I can tell.”

To his relief, his dad actually looks glad. “Good. What the hell was Chris thinking?”

Stiles shrugs. “I don’t know. Allison’s taking care of it.”

His dad nods. The room sinks into a comfortable silence as Stiles cooks, and just as he’s finishing up, he hears a squeak from the room above, and he looks up. There’s footsteps on the stairs, and then Derek is walking into the kitchen, looking groggy. His hair is sticking up even more than before, and he doesn’t really look awake.

“Hey, Derek,” Stiles’ dad says. Derek looks at him and gives him a tentative smile, which is more than Stiles had been expecting. Derek sits down at the table, looking like he’s not quite sure what to do. Stiles gives him a smile as he hands him a bowl of stew, handing the other in his hand to his dad before going back and getting one for himself.

It’s quiet while they eat, but it’s not awkward, and eventually Derek stops looking like he thinks he’s going to be in trouble and relaxes. Stiles calls this progress, and when his dad offers to clean up when they’re done eating, Stiles agrees and takes Derek back upstairs.

“Let’s watch another movie,” Stiles says brightly. He’s afraid if Derek leaves he’ll start to shut down, so he’s determined to keep him there as long as he’s comfortable. Derek looks horribly relieved, at least until Stiles pulls out _Mean Girls_. He gets the same look as before, and Stiles wiggles his eyebrows at Derek.

“Come on,” he says. “This is a very quotable movie.”

Derek rolls his eyes, but doesn’t argue, and soon Lindsay Lohan’s voice is coming out of Stiles’ TV. Stiles shuts off the light and sits down on the bed next to Derek again.

His plan works. About halfway through the movie, Derek’s asleep again, and Stiles turns the volume down on the TV. He finishes the movie, does a bit more homework, then settles down on the floor for the night. He’s out almost as soon as he gets comfortable.

When he wakes the next morning, his bed is empty except for the folded pajamas Derek had been wearing, and a note that simply says, “Thank you.”

Stiles takes a close up of his eye with Snapchat and sends it to Derek with the text, “Anytime. Seriously.”

Then he gets ready for school, wondering what step he’s on in his plan. He’s going to have to revise it again, but he doesn’t mind. It’s working, and that’s all that really matters. Stiles is a genius. He's got more up his sleeve.


End file.
